If Ever I Would Leave You
by Jeanie205
Summary: There's a flaw in the plan to fly that rocket back into space. Someone has to stay behind to send them off.. Clarke volunteers and Bellamy isn't happy. FYI, I've seen no scripts or spoilers. Canon verse speculation based on the same Finale trailer that everyone else has seen. I hope it doesn't happen, but it could.


"Clarke, wait!"

She'd pushed right past him, and now he was chasing her across the lab as she rushed towards the control room. But his legs were longer and his stride greater, and he caught up with her just as she opened the door and slipped inside.

Bellamy grabbed her arm, spinning her around to face him.

"Are you crazy? You can't _do_ this. Your mother said to take care of you, and dammit, Clarke! That's what I'm going to do. I won't...I won't _let_ you sacrifice yourself like this."

Bellamy could hear the rising panic in his voice as he made threats that he knew damn well he had no way of carrying out. But lately, his heart had been battered and torn just one time too many. First Octavia, and now... _this_?

Clarke looked patient, as though she knew exactly what was going on in his head. But there was another look on her face, too, one that he knew well. Determined. The look that said this was the right thing to do, and he damn well wasn't going to talk her out of it.

"Bellamy." Her voice was soft as her fingers brushed across the hand that was still holding onto her arm. "You know there's no other way. If someone doesn't release the mechanism from this control room, then the rocket won't uncouple from its base. And then _none_ of us would live."

He'd opened his mouth to argue just as she added, " _You_ wouldn't live." As though that was the single point that swung the balance. The one that brooked no argument.

Her logic was unassailable. Somewhere in the recesses of his brain, Bellamy knew that. But he couldn't seem to make his heart understand.

"But why does it have to be you?" he persisted, unable to let it go. "Why not Raven? Or Monty?"

He heard himself casually tossing out suggestions that would mean almost certain death for two of his closest friends, but at that moment he just couldn't make himself care. Because they weren't Clarke. _They weren't Clarke._

"You know why, Bellamy." Clarke's voice was earnest, and her brows rose in that way she had when the only thing on her mind was making someone believe in her. Making them understand. "I have nightblood, so I have the greatest chance of surviving here. That's why it has to be me."

"And besides," she added hurriedly, before he could open his mouth to tell her that they didn't even fucking _know_ if the nightblood would work, "Raven has to pilot the rocket. She's the only one who can do that. As for Monty, I think you'll need him on the Ark."

Her face softened. "And besides, would you really ask him to leave Harper?"

"Well, you're leaving me!" It burst out of him. "You're leaving me all over again." He knew it was childish and stupid, but he couldn't seem to help it.

He heard the tiny gasp. "It's not the same," she protested, but he'd seen her face change. Seen the questions in it.

"The fuck it isn't!"

Bellamy felt like he couldn't breathe, like all the air had left the room.

Why the hell had he waited so long to tell her? He'd kept insisting to himself it wasn't the right time. That other concerns were more important. That first he had to make things okay with Octavia.

When all the time he'd just been too afraid to try to figure out what was really happening between himself and Clarke Griffin. Because every time he let himself think about it, the feelings just seemed so damn big. Almost... overwhelming. And it had scared the shit out of him.

He hadn't known how to deal with any of it, so he'd just shoved if all down and tried to pretend that none of it mattered. When the real truth was that it mattered - _she_ mattered - almost more than anything.

And now he'd fucking run out of time. Just like the planet. They were both out of time.

"Come here," he said, his voice choked, as he pulled her into his arms. Breathing in her scent, surrounding himself in her softness.

He whispered it into her ear. "Don't you know that I love you?"

For an instant, Clarke went still in his arms, but then she pulled back to study him. Her eyes were glassy, but there was a tiny smile on her face.

She nodded then, hardly more than an incline of her head. "I love you, too," she said, her voice as gentle as he'd ever heard it.

"Then let me stay with you." He was begging now.

But she was already shaking her head. "No," she said, resolute, "you have to leave so you can live. Otherwise...what's the point?"

They stared at each other, the room silent save for the beating of their sorrowful hearts. Bellamy desperately wanted to kiss her, so afraid that if he did, he'd never be able to let her go. Finally, Clarke reached up and stroked her palm across his cheek. Her tears were falling freely now.

"May we meet again," she said, her voice low. The words echoed in his head, and he recalled the last time she'd said them to him.

"We will," he swore fiercely, desperate to believe that it was true. "If I have to crawl across the universe to make it happen."

Clarke's smile was tremulous, but bright. A real smile to carry in his heart.

"I'll be here," she said.


End file.
